Arrived at box for 5:30pm class. Noticed it was a bit cold. Wished I’d brought a sweatshirt.
Went to bathroom. Slipped on pile of bloody entrails then saw someone had used all the toilet paper and didn’t replace the roll. Note to self: ask owners to remind people to replace toilet paper instead of just leaving the empty cardboard tube.
Asked Coach John to turn on the lights. Didn’t want to work out in the dark. Coach spoke in bad fake Romanian accent, “There is only Zuul.” Determined we’d be WODing in the dark.
Started my warm up. A lot of new people here today. Tried to talk to the guy next to me. He only moaned. Wanted to ask him about the meat cleaver lodged in his head but didn’t want to pry.
John Dodd was working on his muscle up progressions. Almost told him he was looking skinnier but caught myself. Does “Strong is the New Skinny” apply to men? If so, should I say he looks stronger? Confused so I didn’t say anything.
Asked Sarah about the bite marks on her neck. She licked her lips and hissed at me. Chose not to mention how sharp and white her teeth looked.
Got a barbell for the power snatches. Went to look up my weight for 65%. Saw an eyeball on the floor. Wasted three out of five minutes of snatch practice trying to find out who the eyeball belonged to. No one claimed it, so I put it in the lost and found with all the wrist wraps and shirts.
Asked Coach Rob to start the time clock. Coach also answered using heavy Romanian accent. Sounded like, “When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.” Wish coaches would drop the accent.
Five pound PR on snatches despite having to work with fumes from the girl’s boiling cauldron behind me. Personally, I believe that toxic haze in a gym is wrong, but whom am I to judge?
Got out jump rope and kettlebell for the WOD. Screamed when a parade of rats ran over my foot. Another note to self: owners should keep box free of rodents.
Waited for new guy to finish at the chalk bucket. Saw he’d left one of his fingers in there. Kinda waited to see if he’d come back for it. Didn’t want to embarrass him by bringing it up. Decided to use the other chalk bucket.
Pre-WOD pee. Entrails still there, but I did not slip on them.
10 minute AMRAP. 20 kettlebell swings, 50 double unders. Did kettlebells unbroken. During double unders noticed that Don’s jump rope completely severed his right leg. Don continued on one foot. Lost a few seconds wondering if that was Rx+.
Helped Tiffany up off the floor after the WOD. Saw she’d made a blood angel. Felt annoyed when she tried to bite me. We’ve discussed how I value my personal space.
Cash out: Coach Rob made us hold a plank while chanting “Fall to the floor before the Master” as he walked in front of us. Didn’t feel today’s coaching performance deserved this kind of praise so I only mouthed the words.
Already looking forward to tomorrow’s WOD. Happy Halloween, everyone.
(A special thank you to Mr C and his love for the holiday.)